In today’s rough and tumble world, practicing courtesy, kindness and respect may seem out of place but NOT for us devotees trying to purify our lives! For us, it is imperative to practice these as ‘devotional service begins at home.’ It is so easy to lose respect and appreciation for each other due to the challenges of familiarity, conflicts, stress, unexpected events such as guests, illness, financial downs, hormonal changes, natural disasters, and even more serious ones such a shaky relationship, abuse or infidelity. These last 3 mentioned need marriage counseling and reading these tips and acting on them may be appropriate in the maintenance stage after your relationship has healed, not used as a substitute.

General trends found in situations resulting from divorce.

1. PARENTAL LOSS-- divorce often results in the loss of a parent for the children and with this loss children also lose the knowledge, skills and resources (emotional, financial, etc.) of that parent.

Physically, psychologically and spiritually we will go through many changes in the natural course of our lives and our marital relationship may need to adapt accordingly. Yet some basic, vital qualities are present throughout all healthy marriages. Let’s look at seven of them in relation to our potential spouse and ourselves.

Good communication starts with open and respectful listening. This doesn’t mean we have to agree with what we hear, but that we listen with a mood to understand and validate. We listen with both intellect (for the content) and with heart (for the feelings). This receptive attitude builds a loving and trusting relationship.

“Empowering couples, families and individuals with skills and techniques based on universal, spiritual principles.”

8 Tips for Parenting Older Children (Adolescents and Teenagers)
by Krsnanandini Devi Dasi & Tariq Saleem Ziyad of the Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute

Some Common Challenges Internal

* Thinking family duties are a hindrance rather than part of the process
* Thinking that family life means that spiritual life will automatically decrease
* Thinking that a family’s spiritual program has to be identical to that at a temple (usually too long and complex to do at home); the “all or nothing” mentality
* Lack of enthusiasm esp. regarding sadhana; feelings of hopelessness

Helpful attitudes

* If I believe something is important, then I’ll find a way to do it. Krishna will help.

Some things, if done consistently, will promote healthy, spiritual interactions amongst family members. One is having a weekly family meeting.

1. Recognition of God – The Supreme Owner
Act with the understanding that everything belongs to God. At best, we are careful stewards of God’s resources, energies and talents. At worst, we are deluded and become cheaters and thieves who claim another’s property as our own.

Have a great relationship with your child’s mother
Research shows that children do best when their loving, biological parents raise them. If you are married, make your relationship the best it can be. Read books on marriage, take seminars, join a couple’s support group, or get counseling from a professional.

Use discipline, not punishment