In this volume of our newsletter we are focusing on one of the GVT's 12 Principles and Values, Spiritual Growth and Progress.

In the grihastha ashram, we all hope and pray to execute our duties and sadhana in a way that we can progress in our spiritual journey. Its easy to be overcome with a myriad of stresses. At least one of the threefold miseries is pushing on us at all times. In this issue we will be discussing how to deal with the unwanted intruders, pornography and clergy sexual abuse. On the lighter side we also have some updates on what the GVT has been doing in the past months and some great tips on Spiritual Growth.

Upcoming Events

Monthly Conference Calls- Each month, on the second Wednesday or Thursday of each month, we offer a free conference call on various topics hosted by one of our qualified family counselors or educators.  In past months we have discussed Forgiveness, Danger Signs in a Marriage, Getting Better,not Bitter, and 4 Things that Destroy Loving Relationships.  In October the topic will be on Parenting.

Calls are advertised on the home page of our website along with the call in information. Sometimes the hosting phone service has glithches, so if you phone in and it seems as if no one is on the call, just hang up call back.  If you should miss the call, you can listen to the past recording by calling 712.432.0211 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              712.432.0211      end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              712.432.0211      end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              712.432.0211      end_of_the_skype_highlighting code 761698#

A big "Event" for us, the members of the GVT is the process of publishing our upcoming book, Heart and Soul Connections, A Vaisnava guide to Love, Service and Marriage. We really had no idea how big a job we were undertaking! We hope to have it out sometime in 2011.

Gvt members, Tamohara das and his wife Mantrini devi recently offered the GVT course, Strengthening the Bonds that Free Us, in Potomic Maryland as part of a Leadership course. While this is a 'past event'  the upcoming event is that it is now revised to become part of the Leadership and Training Course offered by Iskcon in North America.

 

by Krsnanandini devi dasi and Tariq Saleem Ziyad

We’ve been providing marriage and relationship education for over fifteen years. Through our Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute and our work as Grhastha Vision Team  (GVT) team members, we help couples handle a variety of situations from financial to emotional to sexual, to spiritual. We’ve witnessed many, many relationship challenges for couples.  One of the least talked about but quickly increasing challenges for married couples in our society is pornography.  More couples are asking for help and we respect those who are able to admit that they’re struggling with this problem.

Read full article: http://www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/overcoming-pornography-hope-those-who-want-it

By Partha dasa and Uttama dasi

      I just asked my wife Uttama when she sent out the last GVT news letter. “March… or maybe May?” she said with a quizzical look as she headed out the door to our daughter’s house to work on an outfit for our household Gaura Nitai  for an upcoming festival where all the community Deities will come together. She promised to be back for dinner before heading out again to a baby shower for Ananda Dasi, wife of Kapila, whose wedding I preformed last year.
      Time has flown since the last news letter. As we gear down toward retirement, our lives are going into overdrive. We are both working three days a week for employers who tolerate and even appreciate that on short notice we might take off on GVT business.
      In May we left for over a month, first to Toronto where we facilitated the Strengthening the Bonds that Free Us course,

 

Read full article: http:// www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/life-gvt   

 

Read full article: www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/marriage-post-911-world

        

Dear Grihastha Coach

My parents are both from south India and our heritage is traced back to Brahman stock.  However I was born and raised in America and became a devotee in Iskcon four years ago.  There is a very nice devotee who wants to marry me, but he is not Indian.  We both are college graduates, have never been married before, and have been chanting 16 rounds for several months, soon looking to take initiation.  The difficulty is that my parents want me to marry a man from India who is not Vaisnava.  He is a doctor and lives in America also but I would like to marry devotee and am not at all attracted to this doctor.  My parents are quite tolerant of my devotional activities but they are firm on wanting me to marry an Indian.  They have supported me all my life and I do not want to disappoint them.  I want my parents blessing on my marriage. What do you suggest?

Frustrated and Weary

Dear Frustrated,

Wow.  You are definitely not the first devotee we know with this dilemma.  This is a real challenge.  The idea of a Vaisnava being disqualified due to social statuses and even caste considerations is foreign to the divine movement of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.  Nonetheless, these elements sometimes sneak into our Vaisnava community even though the most fundamental principle of spiritual life is that we are not the body.  But culture and background can be important.  Ultimately, we must weigh how what we do pleases Krsna. 

Read the full answer here: http://www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/dear-grihastha-coach-krsnanandini-devi-dasi

Dear Grihastha Coach,

What do you do when you find out that your husband has been unfaithful?  Perhaps you can fight if it was another person, but in our case, it is not another person but I found he’s been dealing with pornography.  I’m so hurt and disappointed.  He is an initiated devotee, so how could he do such nasty thing?  What do we do now?  He says he is so sorry but he said this before and now he’s done it again.  I really can’t stand the thought of him touching me.   Where do we go from here?

Totally disgusted,

Dear Totally,

This material life is very complicated.  Maya means that which is not.  Yet so much of what happens to us seems all too real.  It seems that every person, including devotees, have crosses to bear.  You and your husband probably begin your married life with good intentions and sincere desires to serve Krsna but somewhere long the way, the illusory energy proved too strong.  Lord Krsna declares this is His maya and therefore very difficult to overcome.  We need each other’s help.  We need to be able to accept, despite appearances to the contrary that by sincerely chanting the Holy Names of the lord we are becoming purified, along with our environment and our family. 

Read the full answer here: http://www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/dear-grihastha-coach-krsnanandini-devi-dasi

Sincerely, Your Grihastha Coach

 

Tips on Spiritual Growth and Progress for Grihasthas

1. Work on cultivating a strong friendship with your spouse. The emotional support this can give you is invaluable. The bonus is, your kids will feel more secure seeing that their parents have a great relationship.

2. Schedule regular spiritual activities  together. You know the saying...pray together, stay together.

3. Devote time  to share Krsna consciousness with others, you'll inspire them and yourselves. Start a weekly bhajan or reading session in your home, take the whole family out on book distribution or harinam several times a month, devise an outreach program suited to your God given talents.... share what you've been given!

4. Discuss with your spouse, your spiritual realizations and the benefits you receive from devotional activities. It will deepen your appreciation of  Krsna and of each other as inherent pure spiritual beings.

5. Thank your family members regularly for the myriad of things they do for you. We have the tendency to take things for granted. Envision how all those little efforts contribute to supporting your spiritual life.

6. Start thinking about what your "mission" in Krishna Consciousness is and start talking to your spouse about it. Try to see how your individual missions can become a "joint" mission...it can start small like making the Temple grounds more beautiful, or starting a bhakti yoga club at your local college or mentoring younger married devotee couples. As you grow older and your family responsibilities decrease, you will have something that holds you together spiritually.

7. Become skilled in discussing your needs with openness and honesty -  what you need to feel protected, to feel understood, your needs for affection etc. Unless you are a paramahamsa, sex is going to be an issue. Seek guidance from other mature spiritually strong grhasthas. Feeling misunderstood or invalidated erodes your connection. If you are avoiding the issues and each other, its hard to practice spiritual activities together with a deep conviction.

8. Your grihastha ashram is not separate from your spiritual life - it IS your spiritual life--live it  accordingly! Srila Prabhupada told Yamuna devi that an ashram is a factory for producing Krsna consciousness.

by Uttama devi dasi